I have been seeing pictures of these hybrid-monsters floating around Facebook for a few months now.  On closer inspection, you can pretty much guess that they're bootleg. I mean,  the glued on "swoop" should clue you in to the possibility, that they were probably manufactured by the tiny hands of malnourished children in a sweatshop, somewhere in the southern Guangdong Province of China. No I'm not talking about the that factory, which makes the real Nikes, but the sweatshop down the street (I kid Nike because I don't want to be sued). Besides, Nike doesn't make high-heel pumps because...well, they're a sneaker company. And the last I checked, you can't ball in pumps.

Nevertheless, a quick Google search has revealed that these pumpkers (copyright pending, so don't bite. You hear that, malnourished Chinese sweatshop children?) are becoming very popular in 'hoods, trailer parks and low-budgeted rap videos all across the country. Ok, that probably wasn't a nice thing to say but seriously, they're butt-ugly.

Anyway, I have two questions for the wearers of pumpkers:
1. Why?

2. What? Seriously, are you listening to yourself?  That makes no sense.

I still love you though.